


Giants

by Joules Mer (joulesmer)



Series: Strange Courage [2]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Caring Bones, Family, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Post-Star Trek: Into Darkness, Recovery, Tarsus IV, radiation poisoning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-19 03:34:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14228292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joulesmer/pseuds/Joules%20Mer
Summary: Jim knew Bones had a daughter, of course.  It wasn’t long after they’d met that the truth ofthe whole damn planetwas revealed to be more than just money, friends, reputation, house and an expected future, but a toddler with Bones’ hair, hazel eyes, and heart-shaped face.  Every Thanksgiving and Christmas at the academy the doctor had disappeared to Georgia for several days, returning from the carefully controlled visitation with a mixture of melancholy, anger, and a dire need for expensive whiskey.  Despite that, Joanna had remained simply a fact about Bones, rather than something Jim had actually experienced first-hand.They had decided to go to a beach to celebrate Jim’s slow recovery finally reaching a turning point... Now they were going to Georgia instead.  Both of them.





	1. Best Laid Plans

The official report from the Marcus-Khan inquiry was released at 11am on a Monday morning. Winter sunlight was filtering in through the half-transparent blinds of the living room; it was a clear sunny day, not a trace of fog or cloud, and the ocean was dotted with whitecaps. Jim had just returned from a physiotherapy session and was stretched out on the couch as McCoy gently rubbed his aching legs, appreciative sighs and knowing chuckles the only conversation between them. The quiet moment was interrupted by priority message alerts on both of their padds, the chimes going off in unison.

Still officially on full medical leave, the noise immediately caught Jim’s attention. Pulling himself half-up with a groan, he snagged his padd and unlocked the screen, forgetting to breathe for a moment when the most recent message was revealed. “Bones.”

McCoy looked up, sharply, grabbing his own padd and repeating the gesture. He felt his heart skip at the subject line, then quickly pulled up the main text of the message. It was a summary of the convening admirals’ report, and as he skipped through the points he felt his heart start beating more normally again. It was as Archer had suggested the day McCoy had been called to give testimony: Kirk was portrayed as a hero; a man who stood up for what was right and saved the world at great personal cost. And dammit, McCoy thought, that was just what had happened, despite the twists and lies of omission he could already sense in the summary account. They’d even included the detail of Jim entering the warp core to single handedly prevent the ship from coming down on San Francisco. The death was glossed over, but the word “revived” was used, in conjunction with “fatal dose of radiation” so he wondered what people would read between the lines.

It was going to be a god-damned media circus.

McCoy was in there too. No mention of augment blood or his demotion, but instead a commendation for his “considerable skill and dedication.” That had Archer and Phlox written all over it. He looked up to meet Jim’s dazed gaze and was about to say something, he wasn’t quite sure what, when his comm chirped to indicate an unknown contact. Then Jim’s followed suit. “Oh, dammit!” McCoy dropped his padd and reached over to the coffee table to silence both their comms, casting a wry smile at Jim as he did so, “Thankfully Spock made sure this apartment is unlisted.”

Jim’s padd pinged with another incoming message and he groaned. “We’re not going to get any peace, are we?”

“They’ll quiet down eventually if we lay low.” He hoped. The Narada affair had been bad enough; McCoy had a sinking suspicion this would be worse. Gently tugging Jim’s padd out of the captain’s hands he silenced the message alerts on it as well, then set it on the table. “Come on,” he gently nudged Jim to lie down and settled his hands back on the other man’s legs as he grumbled, “I was in the middle of something here.”

Jim let out a long sigh as McCoy’s hands worked a particularly tense spot, relaxing under the touch. Trying to put the report out of his mind, Jim tugged a pillow under his head and sighed again as a knot of muscle was coaxed into releasing. “You’re so good to me Bones; your hands…” The words trailed off into another sigh.

“Yeah, well, don’t let it get out.” McCoy leaned down and dropped a kiss where Jim’s shirt had rucked up and exposed a sliver of hip. “You’d ruin my carefully crafted reputation.”

A smile tugged at the corner of Jim’s mouth, but he carefully suppressed it. 

Four days later and, if anything, it had indeed become worse. The official report, all five-hundred pages of it, was still being dissected in the reputable news channels and the tabloids… McCoy had tried to turn on sports highlights that morning and been met with “The Curse of the Enterprise” complete with photos of Pike and Kirk in wheelchairs. The photo of Jim looked like it had been taken covertly while en route to a physiotherapy appointment. He’d turned off the holoscreen immediately, but had a suspicion Jim had seen it anyway.

They were essentially trapped in the apartment, and it was driving both men crazy. Spock and Uhura had wanted to visit, but been afraid they’d be spotted and tip off the press. Having been called out in the report for apprehending Khan, they were facing some media attention of their own. Philip Boyce had, at least, been able to stop by for a drink the night before, but he was generally tied up at Starfleet Medical all day.

From his place on the couch, Jim sighed in a way designed to catch the other man’s attention and said, “We should get out of this city. Find a nice beach somewhere for the holidays.”

McCoy snorted, “Yeah, with easy connections to a hospital. Jim, you’re still recovering.”

“I’m _fine_ , Bones. You’ve said so yourself. There haven’t been any more complications. I’m getting stronger, I can wheel myself…”

“Short distances.”

“And walk…”

“Across a room before you need to sit down.” 

It was true, though. Two weeks ago they’d traded the motorized wheelchair for one Jim could try to push himself. Mostly, McCoy pushed if they actually wanted to go anywhere, but it was getting better. Slowly.

McCoy glanced up from the article he was reading, and found Jim watching him intently. Oh, hell. 

It was almost the holidays, too. Several weeks before they’d spent Thanksgiving at Boyce’s house, with the Enterprise command crew gathered around in a bittersweet celebration. Now, Spock and Uhura were headed to New Vulcan, Sulu was with Ben and Demora, Chekov was with his parents, and Scotty had described some kind of large gathering headed up by his grandmother, a talented engineer in her own right. Boyce had mentioned his sister, based in Utopia Planitia, in a way that suggested he was going to spend time with her.

In short, it wouldn’t be a very festive Christmas if they stayed in San Francisco. Against his better judgement, McCoy said, “I’ll look into it.” He’d never admit just how good it felt to see Jim smile in response.

Abandoning the article, he started searching through some options, making sure they’d never be too far from a well equipped hospital with ‘fleet connections. In spite of himself, he started to look forward to it as well. Remembering that M’Benga had done some resident placements around Southeast Asia he pinged a quick message to the other doctor, then set aside the device in order to make lunch.

They’d eaten in companionable silence; football highlights on the holoscreen a welcome distraction from the oppressive news cycle. Jim had eventually starting lobbing suggestions at McCoy: “How about a private beach? Swimming would be good for me, right? What about a veranda with a view? If I still can’t walk far at least I could enjoy the fresh air.” And with a waggle of eyebrows, “You know, if you get somewhere secluded I could do with getting some sun _all over_.”

At the last suggestion McCoy snorted and sent Jim off to his room for a nap. No matter what the captain claimed about his recovery, he was still building up his strength and tired easily. Alone, McCoy pecked away at an article he was writing for an hour, then opened up his messages to see if M’Benga had replied.

M’Benga hadn’t, but the system had auto-flagged another message as high priority. McCoy’s ex-wife’s name in the “from” field made him pause, but he opened it anyway:

 _I gather you_ promised _her you’d see her the next time you were on Earth. She’s six, Leonard, not an idiot. She knows you’re here, and you missed Thanksgiving. Now her papa is being talked about on the twenty-four hour news cycle and she’s got a crazy idea in her head that you could fall out of the sky. It’s Christmas in less than two weeks. Fix it, Leonard._

Cursing silently, McCoy scrubbed a hand through his hair. A second message from two hours later caught his eye, also from Jocelyn. He could hear her voice as he read it:

_Treadway temper, sorry. School gets out in a few days and we were planning on staying in the area for Christmas. Your grandmother wants to spend some time with her; why don’t you come down for a few days?_

It was more of a command than a request. Guilt and disappointment swirled on two fronts and McCoy regretfully closed the search windows. He returned to the living room to find that Jim had shuffled back in and stretched out on the couch, a documentary on Betazoid telepathy playing softly on the holoscreen. Catching sight of McCoy’s face, Jim quickly paused the program, and waited.

Standing some distance from the couch, McCoy rubbed the back of his neck and said, “Remember how I was supposed to be looking for a beach?” 

Jim nodded.

“I need to go to Georgia. I’m so sorry.” He looked to the floor for a moment then forced himself to meet Jim’s eyes. “Maybe we can get away for new years.”

“What happened?”

“I got a message from Jocelyn.” He shook his head. “Correction, a furious message from Jocelyn. Joanna may be six but they’re talking about this at school. I’ve barely spoken to her since we got back and ages ago I told her I’d visit as soon as we were Earthside again. I got so wrapped up. Now she’s seen the news about starships falling out of the sky and is completely freaked out.”

As if it was the easiest thing in the world, Jim gave a shrug. “So we go to Georgia.”

“We?” McCoy raised an eyebrow, “Jim there’s going to be an energetic six year old, an angry ex-wife, and more family drama than I’d care to subject anyone to. Even Spock.”

The suggestion hadn’t been well considered at all, but now that the idea was on the table Jim doubled-down. “If you don’t want me there you can leave me with Boyce, but if you’d have me… I want to come.” Something occurred to him and he frowned, “Wait, shit, Bones, does she _know_? I mean, if she doesn’t, that’s fine, so if you don’t…”

This was not a conversation McCoy had expected when the day began, but he held up a forestalling hand and jumped into it anyway. “Slow down, Jim. I let Joss know that you’d become a more permanent fixture in my life when I messaged at Thanksgiving. Not that you weren’t already.”

Suddenly tentative, despite the fact that he didn’t want to care what the woman thought, Jim asked, “What did she say?”

“About damn time.” At Jim’s surprised expression McCoy couldn’t help a wry smile. “We were married, Jim, for years before it all fell apart. And the divorce was a long time ago now. She’s probably still angry about some things, and maybe rightly so, but she’s moved on.” He closed the distance between them and ran a gentle hand down the side of Jim’s face. “And I’ve finally been able to as well.” 

Leaning in, he snagged Jim’s lips in a soft kiss, keeping it just on the side of chaste even when the younger man opened his mouth. Pulling back, McCoy looked searchingly over Jim’s face. “Are you sure? I’d understand if you’d rather stay here, and we can get away together afterwards.”

Confronted with the mixture of nervousness and, faintly, hope, in McCoy’s hazel eyes, Jim couldn’t do anything but insist. “I’m sure.”

McCoy had smiled and with a final kiss taken his padd into his office, presumably to start making arrangements. Left alone, the captain turned off the holoscreen and considered the implications.

Jim knew Bones had a daughter, of course. It wasn’t long after they’d met that the truth of _the whole damn planet_ was revealed to be more than just money, friends, reputation, house and an expected future, but a toddler with Bones’ hair, hazel eyes, and heart-shaped face. Every Thanksgiving and Christmas at the academy the doctor had disappeared to Georgia for several days, returning from the carefully controlled visitation with a mixture of melancholy, anger, and a dire need for expensive whiskey. On the Enterprise everyone knew not to present with an injury after 15:55 Starfleet HQ time on alternate Thursdays, as the CMO was liable to be heavy handed with the hypos on anyone who kept him from his half hour call with Joanna. When the comm lag grew too long, the doctor would frown over composing letters instead and fret that they could be going unread. 

Until recently, it had never occured to Jim that he’d actually meet Joanna. He was suddenly, unexpectedly, terrified and couldn’t even quite say why. He turned the holoscreen back on tried to lose himself in the program. 

Two hours later, McCoy reemerged, looking tired but perhaps optimistic as well. Collapsing on the couch and leaning his shoulder against Jim’s, he said, “It’s sorted. We’ll leave in five days and stay through Christmas. We can stay with my grandmother. She insisted, actually. My mom… things never quite recovered after my father, and the divorce. We might see her; we might not.” 

Jim frowned; he’d heard enough about McCoy’s personal tragedy and the subsequent implosion of his marriage to read between the lines. Tentatively, he asked, “Your grandmother?”

“Gram?” McCoy shifted lower so his head could rest against Jim’s shoulder. “She was a doctor too. She understood; even though it took her only son.” Curling further into the other man’s side, he added, softly, “Thanks for offering to come.”

Sincerely, even though it lit a spark of nervousness, Jim said, “Any time.” 

And that was how Jim came to be watching the countryside roll by from the front seat of a groundcar, the back loaded with bags and his wheelchair. McCoy was piloting the vehicle in semi-manual mode, the illusion of control keeping both calm as they approached the farm. 

As they turned into a long driveway, Jim was hit with a sudden wave of anxiety, “What should I call her?”

One eyebrow raised, McCoy didn’t look away from avoiding the ruts in the gravel, “Gram?”

“Yeah.”

“Gram.”

“But she’s not my grandmother. Would she prefer…”

McCoy did glance sideways then, fond exasperation making him smile. “Jim, you’re lucky she didn’t hear you say that or she’d be liable to box your ears.”

Jim blinked. “What?”

“You’re family,” McCoy took a hand off the wheel and reached over to give Jim’s arm a squeeze, “for better or for worse.” The vehicle rolled to a stop in front of a long veranda. “Here, we can unload and then I’ll park it out of the way.” We, of course, meant McCoy, as a thin line of perspiration was beaded on Jim’s forehead by the time he made his way slowly up to the front door.

Before he could ring the bell the door opened with a jerk and Jim found himself looking at a woman with thick grey hair, bright green eyes and a familiar point to her chin. He could hear Leonard still trying to wrestle the wheelchair up the steps, so he plastered on a diplomat’s smile to hide the sickly twist in his stomach and said, “Hi, I’m Jim.”

“Louise McCoy.” She smiled in a way that crinkled the corners of her eyes, and pulled him down into a quick hug, “Call me Gram.”

Standing aside, she ushered him into the front room with a hand on his shoulder and pointed towards a comfortable looking sofa. There was a Christmas tree in the corner, already decorated, and several small parcels tucked underneath. Gratefully sinking into the cushions, Jim watched as Leonard was swept into a warm embrace, then waved towards the sofa as well. It was bewildering; her easy affection. Perhaps she’d been too trusting of the news reports as well. 

A large plate of cookies appeared, along with coffee, and Louise settled into a battered looking armchair across from them. Without preamble, she took a sip from her mug and said,“I spoke with Jocelyn.” Jim felt Leonard tense beside him, but she continued as if there was no cause for stress. “Jo is going to come over later this afternoon and can stay overnight and through the next day. Then they’re going to spend some time with her family, but will come over in the afternoon on Christmas day.”

Two days, including overnight. Leonard couldn’t remember when he’d last seen her for so long. Not to mention been the one to put her to bed. Something tugged in his chest and he was glad when his grandmother continued, “I’ve made the office on the ground floor into a bedroom for you two. There’s a full bathroom adjoining it and we can just lock the door to the hall to make it an ensuite. Jo can have the guest bedroom upstairs next to me.” Catching Jim not quite managing to hide a yawn, she added, “You must have been up early for the journey… if Jim would like to stretch out for a while, there’s something you could help me with in the barn.”

A sideways glance confirmed that Jim was exhausted, so Leonard led him down the hall to what had been his grandparents’ office. The two desks that used to face each other in the middle of the room had been pushed against the wall, and a queen sized bed squeezed in instead. Leonard recognized the quilt from his childhood; he could remember the sensation of the soft cotton against his cheek. 

Tugging off Jim’s shoes, he helped the other man get settled into the bed, smiling when the captain’s eyes quickly slipped closed. Running a hand gently over Jim’s hair, Leonard dropped a kiss onto the already lax features. Returning to the main part of the house, he entered the kitchen to find his grandmother waiting for him. Leaning against the worktop he inhaled the faint scent of spices and baking as he asked, “So what’s the chore? Fence tipping again?”

She pointed towards the back door and Leonard followed the gesture to find a well worn pair of riding boots, thick jodhpurs and a helmet he recognized as his father’s. “Baxter’s missed you; the girl that normally exercises him is away for a few days. The trail is clear: he could do with a good ride.” 

Swallowing over the sudden lump in his throat, Leonard nodded, gathering up the clothing to go get changed without risking a word. The trousers fit perfectly, even though they appeared to be new. The boots were his own and comfortably broken in; old, but recently polished. He’d lost track of them when he left Georgia; had assumed they were long gone. The helmet. He tipped it upside down and was confronted by his father’s handwriting in permanent marker on the band: _D. McCoy_. For a moment it was hard to breathe, but he straightened and tipped the helmet onto his head, buckling it under his chin so he didn’t have to dwell on the previous owner.

It was a clear, crisp day and when the screen door banged shut at Leonard’s heels the fresh air took him back to being a boy again. The grass was soft underfoot and he relished the sensation of walking on something that wasn’t deck plating or the hard surfaces of San Francisco. Entering the stables, the horse regarded him with skepticism and a tossed head, but there was something in the way the animal didn’t quite turn away that told Leonard he just might be remembered. 

Baxter’s ears pricked as Leonard approached and it took a few soothing words before the he was content to be saddled and led into the pasture. Baxter had been purchased shortly before David McCoy’s illness, intended as a means of getting out of his medical practice more often. As his father’s illness had progressed, Leonard had been a somewhat frequent visitor to his grandmother’s farm, and the horse. All McCoys learned to ride as children, and during the long months of failing to juggle work, his father, Joss and Joanna, it had been the only place where he could put his worry and stress aside for an hour and simply not think. So far as he knew, his father had never actually ridden the stallion. 

A piece of apple went a long way to making amends for his long absence, and soon they were navigating the familiar trail that cut through nearby woodland.

It was wonderful. Leonard straightened in the saddle and took in the once familiar view, cataloging all the changes in the intervening years: larger trees, buildings in the distance, new trailheads here and there. Eventually turning back towards home, he veered into their large pasture and nudged the horse into a canter. It quickly stretched into a gallop and he leaned forwards, enjoying the bite of cold air across his face and the feeling that, as a boy, he’d described as flying. They repeated the gallop several more times, then Leonard slowed the pace and they toured the perimeter of the farm, cooling down together. By the time they returned to the barn he could feel a stretch in his legs that was going to be sore the next day. Carefully grooming the horse, it felt more like a ritual than a chore. Baxter seemed to agree, as he was patient throughout, nuzzling Leonard gently when the man was within reach.

With one last friendly stroke down the horse’s forehead, Leonard left the barn and walked, slightly bow-legged, back towards the farmhouse. Helmet tucked under his arm, he was reaching for the front door when a voice said, “Bones.”

Turning, he found Jim on the large wooden swing seat that looked towards the fields, surrounded by pillows and bundled up in a hat and thick blanket. It was the last place he’d expected to find the other man. “Jim!” Leonard strode over, taking in the pink tip of the other man’s nose. “It’s cold out here. What was Gram thinking?”

“That I needed some fresh air. Relax, there’s a heating pack in my lap and I have a thermos of coffee.”

Scrutinizing more carefully, Leonard was forced to admit that there was also a healthy color in Jim’s cheeks that he hadn’t seen in a long time. The blanket wrapped around Jim was enormous, so he pulled it aside and quickly slid under as well, tucking it back around them both tightly when Jim yelped at the puff of cool air. Elbowing the captain, Leonard snorted, “Don’t be an infant.”

Squirming to get comfortable against the other man, Jim wrinkled his nose. “You smell like a horse.” He pressed his nose into the shorter hair at the doctor’s temple and whispered, “It’s hot.”

McCoy grimaced, “You have a thing for farm animals? Could you have told me that earlier while I could still run away?”

Rolling his eyes, Jim said, “Not the horse: the riding. Jesus, Bones, you looked good.” A hand snaked around under the blanket and gave Leonard’s jodhpur-clad thigh a squeeze. 

_Oh_. A thing for a man on horseback he could deal with. Hazel eyes darkening, McCoy tilted his head to offer the side of his neck. “Yeah?” His voice was husky, even to his own ears, “You liked what you saw?”

Jim took the bait, leaning in closer to press a kiss on the pulse point of Leonard’s neck.

“Right you two.” They startled, guiltily, at Louise’s voice from the front door. “Jo will be here in half an hour. Jim, let’s get you settled inside. Leonard: shower and clean clothes. Lord knows you smell like a horse.”

Jim’s snort was met with a swat from Leonard, before they both hurried to comply.

Alone in the front room, Jim felt a wave of nerves come over him. The last time he’d been near a six year old for any length of time was Tarsus, and he didn’t even want to _remotely_ consider that now. Lost in thought he didn’t realize a freshly showered Leonard had joined him until a gentle kiss was placed on the top of his head.

Softly, into Jim’s hair, Leonard said, “She’s going to love you.” He gave another kiss and was about to say more when there was a crunching of gravel in front of the house as a vehicle pulled up.

Leonard straightened quickly and just about ran to the front door, throwing it open and then stumbling backwards a moment later as he was hit by a waist-high missle with a squeal of “Papa!” 

“Jojo!” He recovered quickly, reaching down to take a firm hold of his daughter and swinging her into the air then clasping her close in a tight hug. “I missed you so much, darling.”

Louise side-stepped the display and went onto the porch, presumably to talk to Jocelyn.

Leonard carried on as if he hadn’t seen his grandmother at all, hugging Joanna even more tightly as he blinked sudden moisture out of his eyes and said, “You are so big; look at you! My big girl. Oh, Jo.”

Jim was aware he was doing an impression of an owl, but he couldn’t help himself. Bones, completely unguarded and _happy_ wasn’t something he saw very often. Not in all the years he’d known the man.

“Papa, I missed you!” Her arms were wrapped so tightly around Leonard’s neck Jim wondered if the other man could breathe.

“I missed you too. I’m so sorry I couldn’t come back sooner.” Jo gave a little noise that could have been a sob, and Leonard spun them in a slow circle. “It’s okay, sweetheart. We’re here now and it’s all okay. I promise.”

She seemed to sob harder at that, but instead of looking worried Leonard just smiled, softly, and kept up a whisper of reassurances until she stopped crying and mumbled, “But the ship fell down.”

“Not our ship, darling. Jim made sure of that.”

Joanne pulled back then and met her father’s eyes. “But at school…”

Leonard’s brow crinkled, fondness and worry in equal measures. “Do you believe everything other kids say at school?”

“No.”

Leonard tipped his head forward until their noses brushed. “Good, because we raised you better than that. The _bad_ ship did fall, and it was a terrible thing, but Captain Kirk-- Jim-- made sure Enterprise was safe. He got hurt, though, so I had to look after him. That’s my job as Chief Medical Officer.” He rubbed their noses together, “That’s why I couldn’t come right away.”

Jim was entranced.

Completely, utterly entranced at the sight of Leonard, his Bones, the grouchiest man in the fleet, interacting with his daughter. He was so caught up in awe of what he was seeing that he didn’t sense that attention was about to turn to him until he realized the last words out of Leonard’s mouth had been, “Do you want to meet him now?”

Joanna gave a little nod and before Jim could think Bones was flopping onto the couch with his daughter loosely held in his lap. “Jim, allow me to introduce Joanna Treadway-McCoy. Joanna, this is Jim.”

 _Wow_ , was all Jim’s brain could manage when he met her gaze, peering up from under a mess of dark hair that was rapidly escaping her hairband. Those hazel eyes he _knew_. Thrown, he did the only thing that came to mind and held out a hand, “Pleased to meet you, Joanna.”

She looked at it for a moment in confusion and Jim winced, did six year olds shake hands? When he was about to pull back she reached out and gripped his fingers, wagging her arm in an approximation of the correct gesture as she replied, softly, “Hi.” 

Sensing that the captain was feeling a little overwhelmed, Leonard tugged her backwards to settle against his chest. “Guess what Gram had me do this morning?”

With a giggle, she twisted to grin up at her father, uncertainty apparently forgotten. Were children always so changeable, Jim wondered.

Without waiting for a reply beyond the giggle, Leonard continued, “She had me take Baxter for a ride. I’ll bet if gram gives you an apple we could go give him a snack.” Her eyes lit up at that and McCoy stood, easily swinging her up with him despite her size.

The front door opened again and Louise reappeared, a child’s suitcase in her hand. She smiled at her grandson with her great-granddaughter in his arms. “All sorted, she’ll be back tomorrow after dinner.”

The afternoon was a whirlwind. Jim hadn’t appreciated that Leonard’s description of Joanna as energetic could be an understatement. She wasn’t simply energetic, she was energy personified. They’d visited Baxter while Jim stayed in the house, then there had been a reenactment of her part in the school play, a full performance of the school choir’s repertoire for the winter pageant, an explanation of all the nuances of friends and alliances in the first grade, some sort of pirate-explorer role play complete with dress-up costumes, six books read aloud...

Catching a shell-shocked look in Jim’s eyes, Louise sidled over and whispered, “Too much sugar and too much excitement at seeing her father. Tomorrow should be calmer, but I make no promises for Christmas Day.” The captain gulped, then felt a small hand close over his own and tug him towards what appeared to be a tea party.

That night Leonard collapsed into bed with a groan, pleasantly exhausted. The motion of the mattress woke Jim from a light doze; turning towards the other man’s warmth, he cracked his eyes open and asked, “What time is it?”

“Ten. We put her to bed a couple hours ago and I helped Gram tidy up. It looked like a torpedo went off in the front room.” Leonard couldn’t hide the fondness in his voice. “Were you asleep?”

“Mmmm, dozing.” Jim tucked his nose into the crook of Leonard’s neck and inhaled the scent of the other man, “Sorry, I was wiped out after dinner.”

Leonard huffed. “Don’t be sorry.” He brought a hand up and brushed his fingers through Jim’s hair. “You’re just where I want you.”

“Is that so, _Doctor_ McCoy?” Leonard could feel the smile against the side of his neck as Jim continued, “And just what would you prescribe given you’ve got me here?” Shifting further, Jim slid a leg over Leonard’s, pressing himself against the other man’s hip.

Not bothering to stifle a groan, Leonard replied, “Looks like something’s come up that merits further investigation.”

It was a pleasant thought, but Jim didn’t have the energy to follow through. Even as he wanted to move, exhaustion swept over him like an undertow.

As Jim drifted into darkness, he thought he heard a good natured grumble of, “Typical.”

 

**********

“Rachel.” 

Jim woke with the name on his lips and sweat-soaked hair. Heart pounding, it took several long moments in the unfamiliar darkness to remember where he was: Georgia. His heart wasn’t slowing down; the tachycardia felt like the organ was trying to escape his chest. Rachel, Jesus. She’d had blonde hair, but hazel eyes and been small for her age. All her family gone before Jim had found her. She’d helped to look after Meribelle when Kevin didn’t know what to do, despite being not much older herself. He could still remember the feeling of her curled into his side for warmth at night. Could still remember the morning he woke up to find her cold. 

Oh, God, it was a memory he’d been running from for over ten years; his heart was still beating like a panicked bird against a window at the thought of it. Jim rolled over, almost frantically, and pressed his face into the crook of Leonard’s neck, kicking a leg over the other man and lining them up as he began to move.

Pleasure, confusion, Leonard surfaced from sleep to a weight on his chest and an urgent pressure in his groin. Biting back a groan, he let his hips shift to meet Jim’s thrusts before he registered the sensation of tears against the side of his neck and frowned. Gruffly, with a gasp for breath he managed to get out, “Jim. Stop.” He reached out and stilled the other man’s hips with a firm grip. More softly, he added, “Just stop. I don’t mind the wake-up, but I don’t think that’s what you really need right now.”

The tension vanished from Jim’s frame at that, and he slumped against the other man, pressing his face into a cloth-covered shoulder as he shuddered.

“Shhh. It’s alright. You’re fine.” Jim shook his head weakly and Leonard correctly interpreted the gesture to mean the nightmare hadn’t been about the warp core. Running his hands up Jim’s flank with long, sweeping strikes, he said, “We’re okay, Jim. We all are.”

“Rachel.” She’d been eight when he’d _promised_ her it was going to be okay.

Recognising the name from weeks before, Leonard tightened his hold on the other man and hugged him close instead. It was hard to breathe under the weight, but Leonard wasn’t about to move. 

Jim shuddered more, a crying-without-crying that made it hard to breathe as he remembered hazel eyes that had slowly sunk into emaciated eye sockets. Leonard’s hands only half grounded Jim in the present. The scent of rot and dust that had woken with him seemed to linger in the dark. There was a rolling motion and then a light came on with a click; a small lamp placed by the head of the bed.

Eventually, Jim was able to raise red-rimmed eyes and met Leonard’s concerned yet appraising gaze. “Headache?”

Jim nodded, once, then dropped his head back to the other man’s chest. The rolling motion again, then some noises that seemed familiar before there was a pinch at his neck and the pain receded. He gave an appreciative sigh and Leonard’s arms wrapped tightly around him in reply. Exhausted; he was already drifting back down as he tried to mumble, “Thanks, Bones.”

Jim woke alone the next morning. It was late, he realized. There was a padd on the bedside table and a hypo on top of it. Thumbing it on revealed the simple message, “Give yourself this” and he was tempted to ignore it before realizing he’d have to suffer the wrath of two doctor McCoys’ if he did so. 

He felt stiff and tired; wrung out, was the term Bones would have used for it. Dressing, he administered the hypo then shuffled down the hallway in search of the others. He couldn’t hear Joanna, so headed for the kitchen in search of something to eat.

“Good morning, Jim.” Louise smiled from where she was doing something involving flour and a large bowl. If you want to head out to the swing I’ve got it ready for you. You can watch them from there and I’ll bring you something to eat in a minute.” No mention of a rough night, or his late start to the day. Nothing. Just an easy acceptance he didn’t feel he’d earned.

He smiled his thanks and shuffled out to the veranda, finding the swing already set up with pillows, blanket, and a heating pack for good measure. Jim tucked himself in and used a foot to set the swing into a gentle motion, looking out towards the barn and smiling at what he saw: Jo holding a rope in the middle of the ring as Leonard rode the horse in a circle around her. At a command from his daughter he nudged the horse into a trot, posting easily as he called something back in reply and laughed.

Bones would have been a good father. Was a good father, Jim corrected himself. He suddenly saw how the other man’s life would have unfolded if David McCoy hadn’t died and the marriage fallen apart so acrimoniously: a respected surgeon, prestigious research position at Emory, devoted to an adoring daughter, weekends at his grandmother’s farm, sharing a love of riding Jim hadn’t even known existed. He could sense the Jocelyn-sized shape in the image as well, leaning against the fence and snapping holos of them; joining in their laughter.

The screen door banged and startled Jim out of his thoughts. It was Louise, carrying a laden plate and a steaming mug, which she set down on the table beside the swing. Fresh muffins, fruit, cheese, a boiled egg. All things he could easily eat with his hands; his fine motor control still made a knife and fork challenging. Her quiet consideration made a lump swell in his throat and he had to swallow it down. “Thanks, Gram.” The name still felt awkward on his tongue, but she didn’t seem to notice.

“If you want any more, just hollar. I’m making rolls for dinner tonight so I’ll be able to hear.” With a squeeze to his shoulder, she returned inside. The muffins were still warm, and Jim ate two before reminding himself he’d better have some protein lest Bones scowl at him later.

A laugh carried on the breeze and he looked down to find that Joanna had set up a low jump with an old piece of fencing and the lunge line had disappeared. Despite being out of practice, Leonard cleared it easily and Jim felt a stir at the graceful lines of the other man; in his element in a way Jim hadn’t seen out of a med bay. 

Leonard lined up for the jump again and Joanna let out of whoop of delight at the thunder of the hooves. Even from the veranda, Jim could see the wide smile on the doctor’s face. Relaxed. Happy. 

A spark of unease formed in Jim’s chest.

The riding continued for a while longer, then Leonard and Joanna disappeared into the barn to groom the horse and Jim was left alone with his own thoughts. He was torn out of them an indeterminate amount of time later by a clatter of feet on the veranda and a cry of, “Jim!”

Joanna raced forward, cheeks flushed with excitement and the cold air. “Did you see us?”

“I did.” He gave a conspiratorial wink that would have made Chekov grin. “You were doing a great job teaching your Papa.”

She chuckled at that, glancing back to see her father joining them more sedately, before turning her attention back to Jim. “Do you ride horses?”

An old, old memory came back of his Grandpa Tiberius. Before Frank. Before Tarsus. Swallowing around the lump in his throat, he said, “A long time ago.” _When I almost had a family_.

Before Jim had to answer more questions, he was saved by a voice from inside the house: “Boots off, Joanna, and come help me with the baking!”

Question forgotten, she kicked off her boots and scampered inside. 

Leonard collapsed onto the swing with a groan and a smile, making it shake on its chains. “If I thought this morning was bad, I’m not going to be able to walk tomorrow.”

Jim tried to smile in return, but the easygoing expression on Leonard’s face made that spark of unease return, only magnified by Joanna’s innocent question.

Dropping his head onto the back of the swing, Leonard lazily turned to Jim. As he looked more closely at the other man, a furrow creased the middle of his forehead. “What?”

Cursing the uncertainty he couldn’t quite hide, Jim considered lying. The slight pause betrayed him, as Leonard’s eyes narrowed in increased scrutiny. Hugging himself under the cover of the blanket, he reluctantly said, “Do you want to stay?”

“Stay?” Leonard frowned in confusion, then seemed to realize what Jim had meant, “Earthside?”

Jim nodded, not quite trusting himself to speak. 

With a glance at the windows and the door to ensure nothing said could be heard inside, Leonard hitched along the seat until his knees bumped Jim’s blanket-covered thigh. “You really want to head back out there, huh?”

Jim’s mouth went dry, because in that moment, for the first time in almost five years, he wasn’t sure what he wanted. He wanted to be back out there as much as ever before, yearned for it, and yet...

Leonard seemed to understand, as he gave Jim’s blanket covered knee a squeeze. “Alien despots, hoping one day they can kill us; deadly spatial viruses and bacteria; incomprehensible cosmic anomalies that can wipe us out in an instant.” Sensing the panic rising in Jim’s throat, he slid a hand up and took the other man by the back of the neck, holding him so their eyes met as he said, “I love Joanna, sometimes so much it’s hard to breathe, but you’re my family now, Jim. And God help me I want to be right there with you.”

Family. The word made something he’d always resisted threaten to break. 

Leonard seemed to understand, as he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Jim’s lips, then another. It took a third before Jim responded, tentatively at first, then with increasing confidence. 

Wrapping his arms around Jim, Leonard pulled him down, blanket, heat pack and all, until the younger man was stretched out on top of him on the long swing seat. Holding him tightly, he said, “Tell me about it.” He planted a kiss on the top of Jim’s head. “Tell me about what it’s going to be like when we have our orders: the five year mission.” The orders weren’t certain yet, and neither was Jim’s eventual fitness to command, but Leonard couldn’t imagine any other possible outcome.

Letting himself relax into the embrace, Jim considered for a moment before he murmured, distractedly, “It’s gonna be so much fun.”

“Oh yeah? How?”

Settling more comfortably against the other man, Jim couldn’t keep a small smile off his face as he imagined it, “We’ll be explorers, Bones. Where no one has gone before. We’ll walk on uninhabited planets and meet new species. Sulu will keep us on a steady course and Chekov is going to grow into a fine young lieutenant by the end of it. Uhura is going to tease me, and Spock: he understands more now, I think. She’s good for him, too. And you’ll run the med bay like your own kingdom, Bones, and boss me around over the comm, and when we’re approaching a new planet you’ll be right there on the bridge too.”

Leonard let out an appreciative hum, so Jim continued, “They haven’t started refitting crew quarters yet. I’ll bet we could get a second computer terminal installed in my office so you don’t have to stay in the med bay alone when you want to work late.”

It was an interesting suggestion; not quite an offer to move in together, but certainly one that assumed they would be spending more off-duty time in each other’s company. Leonard imagined it: sitting in companionable silence with Jim, both catching up on reports after their shifts ended. Feet tangled together under a large desk, but otherwise both hard at work. It sounded a hell of a lot better than sitting alone in his office. “Sounds like a good idea.” 

Jim relaxed even more at that, and Leonard smiled. He was going to miss Joanna, he always did, but today was a pretend at normalcy. The reality was his mother wasn’t going to visit, Jocelyn still had sole custody and wouldn’t give it up readily, David McCoy still loomed larger than he was ready to deal with, he couldn’t very well live with his grandmother, and after what he’d seen a research position at Emory would drive him crazy with boredom within a year. That was before the simple fact that Leonard couldn’t imagine life without Jim Kirk, and until they eventually promoted him out of the chair, Jim couldn’t live without deck plating under his feet. 

If he were honest, even Leonard had to admit it had been hard to sleep in San Francisco without the soft thrum of Enterprise’s engines. 

They stayed like that until the front door opened with a soft click. “Papa?”

Nudging Jim to sit up, Leonard did so as well as he called back, “Out here, Jo.”

She came outside in her socks, regarding them curiously as they sat closely side by side. “Gram says lunch is ready.”

Leonard held out a hand, which she took with a grin and tugged, hauling her father to his feet. Reaching down, the doctor took Jim’s hand and pulled him up too, the blanket falling back on the swing. If he held a little too tightly to both their hands as Jo led them inside, Leonard felt he was allowed. 

The afternoon passed in a similar fashion to the day before, although Jim had learned his lesson and eventually stepped out for a nap rather than try to make it through. After an early dinner, Jim had stepped out of the activity in the kitchen and was reviewing an update from Scotty in the living room when the front door opened.

A slim woman with dark hair let herself in, freezing when she realized the room wasn’t empty. She recovered quickly, straightening and adopting the direct approach: “You must be Jim.”

She was attractive, in that slightly hard manner of some women. Nails painted, hair carefully styled, clothes on trend. Jim wondered if she’d made a particular effort knowing her ex-husband would be present. “You must be Jocelyn.”

A peal of childish laughter carried through from the kitchen, followed by Leonard’s lower chuckle. Her gaze flickered towards the doorway, but instead of going through she moved to sit in the chair across from the sofa.

Jim set down his padd as well, returning her frank evaluation. She was beautiful, which was no surprise having seen Joanna, and younger, without the hardness to her, must have been captivating.

Jocelyn broke the silence first, bluntly stating, “I have to admit: I didn’t quite know what to expect when Leonard told me about you.”

Resisting the urge to bristle, Jim replied, evenly, “I gather I can have that effect.” 

Painted nails tapped on her knee. “There was more to it than was released in the report, wasn’t there?” When he hesitated for a moment, she waved a hand. “Never mind. I know you can’t say anything and if you were wondering there isn’t a recorder in my purse or anything.” Something not entirely pleasant flashed in her eyes. “I can read between the lines well enough where Leonard is concerned.”

Jim wasn’t sure there was anything he could say that would be acceptable under the circumstances, so he simply waited.

“I hope you understand what it means for Joanna. You’re giants to her, Jim. Larger than life, towering, _invulnerable_ , then she hears you might not be…” Her gaze dropped to her lap for a moment, before she seemed to steel herself and fixed him with a gaze that seemed to go right through him. “You’re both going out there again. Even now?”

Death. His own, and fifteen thousand others. Starfleet nearly torn apart by the betrayal. Even now? Remembering the feeling of pressing against Bones on the swing seat, imagining their five year mission, he said, “When Christopher Pike first gave me his ship he had me recite the Captain's Oath,” Jim gave a wry smile as he admitted, “words I didn't appreciate at the time. Now I see them as a call for us to remember who we once were, and who we must be again.”

An expression flitted over her face, too fast for Jim to read. Softly, she said, “You’re a role model, _Captain_ , whether you expected to be or not.” The stress on his title was almost a challenge.

Baring himself, against every instinct he had, because this was good for Bones, for Joanna, he said, “I think I understand what that means now.”

She gave a small smile, with a deeper emotion he didn’t know her well enough to read tugging at the edges. Another burst of girlish laughter, joined by Gram and Leonard, came from the kitchen and Jocelyn seemed to work to compose herself. Raising a carefully shaped eyebrow, she asked, “What are they doing in there?”

“I think Jo asked Bones to demonstrate how to make crepes; I didn’t know he could do it, but he said it’s all in a surgeon’s wrist?” Her face signalled that she’d heard the phrase before and Jim couldn’t help but remember Leonard’s comment from before they left San Francisco: _We were married for years before it all fell apart_. A spark of irrational jealousy tugged at him, as if begrudging her for having Bones first. Jim couldn’t keep from adding, “He’d hoped they’d be able to eat a couple before she has to go.”

Head tilted slightly to one side, genuine curiosity seemed to be the dominant expression as Jocelyn asked, She’s had a good time?”

Ensuring his tone staying just on the right side of defiant, Jim replied, “She’s had a _great_ time.”

Jocelyn’s lips twitched, as if she was coming to a decision. Abruptly standing, she said, “We were going to go to my brother’s tomorrow morning, but she can spend time with her cousins at New Years. Can you ask Leonard to drop her in town tomorrow afternoon? I’ll bring her back on Christmas Day. We’ll do some presents at my parents’ and I’ll bring her here around eleven.”

Surprise left Jim momentarily mute, and she let herself out so quickly he didn’t even manage to say a polite goodbye. What the hell had just happened? 

Jim stood and moved towards the door, but only just caught a crunch of gravel outside as Jocelyn quickly pulled away in her groundcar. That had been wholly unexpected, but there was nothing to do but pass on the message. Opening the door to the kitchen, he was confronted by a scene of barely controlled chaos. Leonard standing at the stove wearing an apron, _an apron_ , while Jo was standing on a chair beside him brandishing a ladle. Gram was at the table, setting out an array of toppings and ignoring the flour that seemed to have escaped across the counter

It looked like family. Jim took a moment to enjoy the scene before he said, “Jocelyn stopped by.” Turning his attention to Joanna, he smiled like it was nothing surprising and continued, “We could hear you having so much fun your mom thought you’d like to stay tonight and eat all those crepes.”

Leonard’s eyebrow just about hit his hairline, but Joanna beamed in delight and held up the bowl of batter, narrowly avoiding slopping it down her shirt. “We’ve made eleven, but have this much left.”

Ignoring Leonard’s bemused paralysis, Jim pulled out a chair at the table and managed to keep his tone light and even as he said, “Then it’s a good thing I’m still hungry for dessert, isn’t it?”

It was a forced normalcy for Joanna’s sake. Fortunately, she accepted it easily and turned back to the stove, Leonard following as well after a few seconds.

Later, five crepes later, to be precise, Jim was sitting on the couch in the front room, dozing as he listened to the sounds of tidying up in the kitchen. The exhaustion just didn’t seem to be abating; he could dispel it for a few hours, but it kept returning as a bone-deep pull to sleep. Bones had said to give it time, but whether Leonard knew anything for certain was unlikely. Louise and Leonard were chatting, their words indistinct, and he could hear Jo’s voice interjecting from time to time.

Bones: a father. He’d had no idea it could look like that. It was utterly exhausting, but utterly wonderful. A week ago he wouldn’t have thought he could fall more in love with the man, but the last two days had proved that spectacularly wrong. It scared him; the intensity of it. Leaning his head back further, he just hoped that Bones, somehow, felt the same.

He didn’t realize that the sounds from the kitchen had changed into a more continuous muffled conversation between adults until a small voice made Jim start: “Who keeps Papa safe?”

Joanna was standing by the end of the couch, watching him with a pinched expression on her face and worried eyes. Jim shifted to sit up straight and tried to keep his expression open as he asked, “Jo?”

She wormed her way up onto the cushion beside him and fixed him with a bright gaze that was Leonard in miniature as she asked, “Papa said it was his job to look after you. Who looks after him?”

Oh. He forced himself to avoid a glance towards the kitchen in hope of rescue. This was not a conversation he’d been expecting, or prepared for. When no help was forthcoming, he settled for the only answer he had: “I do, Jo.”

He was aware how absurd that sounded, when he was barely able to walk across the ground floor of the house, but she seemed to be seriously considering the idea.

Eventually, she shifted to tuck herself against his side, and in a voice he only barely caught said, “Okay.”

He could have left it there, but a memory came back of a warm hug and soft words long ago: “ _It’s going to be okay, son_.” He glanced down at the top of her head and said, “We gave you a bit of a scare, didn’t we?” He felt her give a nod, and tentatively curled an arm around her thin shoulders. “I’m sorry, Jojo. We’ll be sure to do a better job of making sure you know your Papa’s okay.”

She gave a little sniff and Jim didn’t want to imagine what would happen if Leonard thought he’d made the girl cry. Desperately, he gave her a gentle squeeze.

It was met with another sniffle, and a soft, “You too?”

The words hit him like an unexpected punch to the gut, catching him by surprise. Jesus, him too? How did children care so quickly? He’d never… Jim had to swallow before he managed to say, “Sure, Jo, me too.”

That seemed to stop the snuffles, but it did get him a sudden armful of six year old as she twisted to give him a tight hug. He hugged back, and released her with surprising reluctance when Leonard’s voice gently broke into the moment: “Hey there, you two.”

Looking up, Jim found Bones looking down at him, a fond smile on the other man’s face that made something tingle in his chest. Joanna looked up and simply raised her hands, smiling when Leonard correctly interpreted the gesture and swept her up into his arms despite her size. “It’s bedtime, Jo. Let’s get you into your pyjamas and then we can read a story together, okay?”

She glanced back down, then met her father’s gaze, “Can Jim read the story?”

Something that might have been mirth danced in Leonard’s eyes. “I’ll bet he can. I’ll bet Jim reads _great_ stories.” With a wink, he turned and carried his daughter towards the upstairs bedroom.

While Leonard was off sorting the evening routine of bathing and pyjamas, an idea came to Jim’s mind. It was preposterous, but… he couldn’t help but coming back to a small face pinched with worry and the tentative question: “Who keeps Papa safe?” Something clenched in Jim’s chest, unexpected in its presence and intensity. It could be overstepping. It could be _massively_ overstepping. 

With a sinking feeling, he realized he’d have to ask permission. And not from Leonard.


	2. Family

Christmas morning came quickly. Jim woke to a firm warmth against his back and a kiss pressed behind his ear. An aroma of freshly brewed coffee and cinnamon buns had crept under the closed door and he rolled over in Leonard’s embrace to face the other man. 

Dark hair going in every conceivable direction, Leonard smiled under his bed head and leaned forward to press a kiss against Jim’s lips. “Merry Christmas.”

There was a rumble of sleep in Leonard’s voice that went straight to Jim’s groin. He leaned forward and initiated a kiss of his own, slipping his tongue into the other man’s mouth until Leonard made a little noise of desire in the back of his throat. 

Any chance of escalation was broken by a sharp rap against the door and Gram’s voice, “Joanna will be here in half an hour; breakfast is in the kitchen.” Her footsteps receded quickly, as if she had correctly interpreted their late start. 

A glance at the chrono confirmed they had overslept. Leonard gave a chuckle that was half frustration, half affection, and pulled back. “I guess I’ll have to unwrap that particular present tonight.”

Jim groaned at the joke, but retreated as well, knowing Joanna had to come first. 

It was a good thing Louise had intervened, as Joanna arrived ten minutes early, trembling with excitement at the prospect of more presents. They hadn’t discussed whether they would do gifts for each other or not, but both men had fortunately hedged the same way: Jim with a bottle of very good bourbon for Leonard, the doctor with a vintage astronomy textbook for the captain. A traditional gift between them would have been alcohol in both directions, but as Leonard saw the smile grow on the younger man’s face and the almost reverent way Jim flipped through the pages he knew the risk had been worth it.

Joanna was preoccupied with a large parcel from her great-grandmother when Louise slid a gift towards Leonard. He opened it with a raised eyebrow, stilling when he saw what was inside.

Craning his neck to see, Jim didn’t recognize the item, “What is it?”

“It’s a stethoscope.” Leonard glanced at his grandmother for confirmation of his suspicion.

She picked up the explanation, “It was your great-grandfather’s; your father used to keep it in his surgery.” She smiled, fondly, yet wistfully, “David would’ve wanted you to have it.”

Leonard stroked a finger over the bell almost reverently, and for a moment Jim could sense the _loss_ in the room so keenly.

There was one small box left under the tree; it had been tucked close to the trunk in a manner intended for it to be found last. Jim felt his mouth go dry as Joanna spotted it, the girl beaming when she saw the tag.

“It’s for me!” She held it up, waved the parcel at them in delight. “From Santa!”

Leonard quirked an eyebrow in surprise. Santa? He glanced at his grandmother, but could tell from her curious gaze that she hadn’t been responsible for it either. Jocelyn? Or… Jim’s attention was entirely on Joanna, and the captain looked pale. McCoy felt his breath catch. What had Jim done? He’d told the younger man not to worry: no presents needed. Hell, he wasn’t sure what Jocelyn would think if Jim started insinuating himself into Joanna’s life.

There wasn’t time to ask, as Joanna ripped the paper off, eagerly, revealing a blue box. Her small fingers found the edge, and when she pried it open something silvery slithered out and fell into her lap.

Before Leonard could speak, Jim quickly cut him off, “What is it Jojo? Can I see?” His voice sounded just slightly different from his normal tones, as if strained, or nervous.

She looked down, eyes widening in surprise as she plucked the small item out of a crease in her jeans and clambered over to the couch. Jim took her hand in his and appeared to inspect the gift. “Oh, wow. I wonder how Santa got this.”

Entranced by the glimmer in her palm, she glanced up and asked, “What is it?”

“Look carefully and tell me what you see.”

From the other end of the couch Leonard could just make out a delicate chain and some sort of small pendant that Jo was holding up close to her eye.

“It’s the Starfleet arrow.”

Jim smiled, starting to relax. “That’s right, Jo. And do you know what’s on it?” She was peering so intently Leonard was amazed her eyeballs stayed in her head. When his question was met with a minute shake of her head, Jim reached out with his other hand and traced over the design. “It’s the symbol for medicine, for your Papa. And this,” he gave it a little prod, “I recognise this. A captain knows every inch of his ship, and _this_ came from the bridge of the Enterprise. Do you know where that is?”

“It’s the captain’s place?”

“That’s right, but this came from the railing where your Papa stands when he’s on the bridge, right beside me.” He leaned forward and added, “It’s your very own piece of the ship.”

Her mouth had opened into a little _O_ shape as she considered.

Risking a glance up, Jim caught Leonard’s eye and flashed a slightly uncertain smile before turning his attention back to Joanna. “And you know what? When your Papa is standing there now he’ll be able to feel the spot on the railing where this came from, and know you’re thinking of him.”

It took Leonard a moment to realize his mouth was also slack in surprise. What the hell had just happened?

Joanna was glowing; there was no other word for it. Knowing his fingers wouldn’t be able to manage the clasp, Jim gave her a smile and gently suggested, “Maybe your Gram could help you put it on?” 

Joanna hurried to comply, and Louise made a soft noise of appreciation when she got a closer look at the pendant.

Jim could tell he was blushing, even without quite knowing why. He glanced down at the book from Leonard, running a finger reverently over the embossed cover. After a moment thin arms wound tightly around his neck, and against his ear Jo whispered, “Thanks, Uncle Jim.”

_Uncle_ Jim? Perceptive kid. He supposed it was obvious, but hadn’t expected… There was an sudden prickle of moisture in his eyes that he quickly blinked back, hugging her tightly in response. Jim could feel Leonard watching him, but didn’t quite dare to meet the other man’s gaze.

The rest of the day followed in a rush: Joanna insisting on trying out her new presents, Louise setting out a large, late afternoon feast complete with a roast chicken and homemade apple pie. Jim excused himself after the meal and was asleep when Jocelyn returned to collect her daughter. Leonard thought he saw his ex-wife glancing towards Joanna’s neck, but got caught up making sure all of his daughter’s bags, gifts, and baked goods for the road made it into the groundcar before he could remember to have a quiet word with her to explain. 

Jim didn’t surface from the bedroom so eventually, after all the dishes were clear and the house returned to rights, Leonard said goodnight to his grandmother and padded down the hall to find Jim asleep, still in his clothes. It was almost nine, so Leonard cleaned his teeth and changed into pyjamas, before grabbing a padd and climbing onto the bed.

Leonard had been reading for half an hour before Jim stirred. Reaching out, he placed a hand on Jim’s shoulder, rubbing gently as the other man slowly woke.

With a stretch, and a grimace to find himself still in his good clothes, Jim opened his eyes. Realizing Leonard was in an old t-shirt, Jim propped himself up on an elbow. “What time is it? Did I miss saying goodbye to Jo?”

Leonard winced, belatedly. At the time he hadn’t properly thought of goodbyes, beyond the fact that Jim needed his rest. “Jocelyn came a few hours ago, not long after you fell asleep. Jo said to give you a hug.”

Jim frowned, “I won’t break, Bones.”

“I know.” Leonard ran a finger over the buttons on the front of Jim’s shirt. “I’m sorry.” Jim clearly wasn’t happy, but he wasn’t quite angry either. If Leonard had to guess, he’d say the other man was fed-up with being exhausted, and only time could heal that. He hoped, anyway. Pushing that thought aside, he reached out and unbuttoned Jim’s dress shirt, running his hands gently down the other man’s chest in apology. 

He could tell Jim wasn’t quite as awake as he appeared, so Leonard kept his touch light as he unbuckled and removed Jim’s belt, then slid off the other man’s trousers with a gentle nudge to lift his hips. Urging Jim briefly up, he tugged off the dress shirt as well, then carefully folded the good clothes over the back of a chair. He contemplated pyjamas, but Joanna was gone and Jim looked about ready to succumb to sleep all over again.

Before the other man could start to drift off, Leonard rubbed a hand over Jim’s chest to catch his attention. “What you did for Jo, today.” He wasn’t quite sure how to put it into words, so instead simply said, “Thank you.”

Sleepy eyes blinked, then focused more clearly. “She liked it?”

Leonard nodded. “She kept clasping her hand over it at dinner. It’s not really from the ship, is it?” Catching a faint blush come over Jim’s features, Leonard’s jaw dropped. “My God, man, you’re crazy!”

Jim chuckled, “Right where I told her it’s from. I thought of the design and Scotty beamed over to the shipyards, took a shaving from the railing and formed the initial shape. Keenser took over then, turns out he can actually do some quite delicate work, when he wants to. His species are known for their ceremonial filigree; he looked insulted when I asked if it might be possible to make it so small.”

Leonard’s mouth was dry and he swallowed, hard, “It’s beautiful, Jim. I was surprised though-- I didn’t think you’d get her anything, and…” 

Sensing where this might be going, Jim cut in and said, “I asked Jocelyn.”

Leonard blinked. This was getting more bizarre by the moment. “You what?”

Jim shrugged as if it hadn’t been anything, despite the fact it had taken him three tries to get up the courage to make the initial call. “I asked Jocelyn. Not everyone would be okay with their ex-husband’s new boyfriend giving their six year old daughter jewelry.”

Skipping right over that loaded word, _boyfriend_ , Leonard stuttered out, weakly, “You talked to Jocelyn? About Joanna?” Bizarre didn’t even begin to cover it.

Now wide awake, Jim set a hand on Leonard’s upper arm as he carefully explained, “Jo came to talk to me the night I read the story; she was worried about you. I thought that maybe if she could feel more connected, it might help. So I called Jocelyn to ask if it was a good idea.”

“You called Jocelyn, to ask if you could do something for Joanna, to make her feel more comfortable with me being on Enterprise,” Leonard couldn’t believe what he was enumerating. “And she said yes?”

Aware he was dancing in the middle of a minefield, Jim gave Leonard’s arm a gentle squeeze. “She actually…” Unsure if he should share the detail or not, but erring on the side of disclosure, “...said thanks. That she thought maybe I understood what she’d been trying to tell me; about how Joanna looks up to us.” 

Leonard looked spooked; as if the rug had just been pulled out from underneath his feet and he was just waiting for there to be a catch. When none appeared forthcoming, he found his voice and asked, “Who are you, and what have you done with my worldview?”

Jim snorted; relaxed, finally realizing how tense he’d been all day. Leaning in, he placed a kiss on Leonard’s lips, relaxing further when the gesture was returned.

Against his lips, Leonard mumbled, “How are you so good to me?”

So good to _Bones_? Jim would have thought the opposite was true: that Bones was good for him and in return he took and took from the other man. 

Remembering Leonard’s repeated assertion from the last few days, Jim felt he finally understood. Turning the words around, he said, “You’re my family now, Bones.” 

It must have been the right thing to say, as a fan of little creases stood out at the edges of Leonard’s eyes in response. He’s happy, Jim realized. Happy with _me_. Leonard’s words when they had arrived came back to him; the first time he’d called Jim family: “for better or for worse.” The similarity to the vow hadn’t been wholly lost on Jim at the time, but what had made a spark of apprehension stir in his chest before, now felt like something he hadn’t appreciated he’d wanted.

Heaving a put-upon sigh, but with a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, Leonard said, “We’re really going to go back out there. Aren’t we?”

Jim leaned in and snagged a quick kiss, then returned the smile more broadly. “Count on it.” It was going to happen too, no matter how much effort and physio it took to get him fit for service again. 

Jim imagined the two of them; pictured sitting in his chair on the bridge with Bones standing beside him. New life, new civilizations, uncharted deep space... 

It was breathtaking.

He couldn’t wait.


End file.
